illustrated in illusions

Sach is life…

2010-03-01T10:05:00.000-08:00

Amidst the chaos and cacophony of our times there are few things as serene.
Amidst all the changes there has been one constant.
Amidst all the negativity and depression that symbolises the tenor of our times there have been few things as uplifting.
Thanks for blessing our days with sheer joy.
Thanks for making us believe.
Thanks for giving us hope.
Thank you Sachin for everything…

Some dreams are worth the fight...

2009-04-25T13:48:00.000-07:00

How do you think it feels to live a moment in life that you know you can’t surpass… that no matter what else you achieve in life it will still pale in the shadow of this moment… and to know that whatever trials and tribulations it took ‘it was worth all the while’…

My New Blog...

2008-10-13T13:04:00.001-07:00

www.standupanalyst.blogspot.com

An open letter to Mr. Sharad Pawar M.P., Minister in Central Cabinet and President of BCCI

2006-08-27T12:29:00.000-07:00

Sir,
I write this letter in my capacity as a long time fan and follower of Indian Sports especially Cricket. At the outset let me clarify that I am as convinced about your skills as a politician as anyone else. The fact that you have survived in the murky waters of Indian politics is an amazing feat in itself and the fact that you have served with distinction various political offices of our democracy makes it even more stupendous. But I would like to point out that cricket is not your usual cup of tea. When all other sports federations of India were busy playing to the fancies of whimsical administrators, Cricket had chosen to chart its own destiny, a destiny free of one thing that is the biggest obstacle to any progressive idea in our country, our government. So while other SFs lined up with their begging bowls at finmins doorsteps before every budget and once the alms were given promptly went to the serious business of arranging foreign trips and stiching blazers, Cricket chose to work on simple economic principles and decided to generate its own funds, develop its own infrastructure and creating its own demand. So when other sports administrators were busy ensuring that no player from their federation becomes more recongnised than themselves, cricket was negotiating with the leading broadcasters of the world to overthrow DDs monopoly over sports broadcasts in India and thus bring to its players and performers the recongnition they deserved. A lot of water has flown through the Brahmaputra since the mid 80s but far sighted decisions taken by the Dalmiya-Bindra administration at that time have stood Indian Cricket in good stead ever since. Fact remains that for a nation undergoing turbulent churning in the early 90s Cricket became the shining example for what a market driven decision making can do for the society. For people like me who got a sense of the world at that time Cricket and its success was the most powerful argument against popular leftist ideas of 80s. Because of Dalmiya-Bindra the 90s saw a shifting of the center of gravity of the world of cricket from the Long Room at Lord's to gullies of mofussil towns in India. India became the most powerful voice in the world of Cricket and BCCI the richest body. What is more important is that it was all only a beginning. Powerful winds of change were promising to herald a new era of professional management for Cricket, and it was looking like it would be cricket to which would go the credit for being the most powerful Indian body in any international fora. But it all seems so distant now. Cricket has proven itself no less susceptible to the vagaries of cheap politics than other sports in India. Sir, my concern for cricket does not stem out of my love for the game only. For many of us cricket and its success represented that one ray of hope which we could cling to in our lives. Cricket, more than a game represented the crystallization of a billion dreams of a safe and secure future in strong resurgent nation for us. Our greatest source of inspiration, strength and hope. It should not have been so, but for a nation let down by other social institutions, it was. The unraveling of this dream would mean the end of hope for many. You and your cronies come from a Mai-Baap system where little stress is put on niceties like taking care of your performers, developing infrastructure and planning for future. This is why I want to restate the importance of having a good administration for cricket. We haven't seen enough of your administrative skills in cricket to comment on them but if you can keep petty politics out of cricket and continue to build on the good work done by your predecessors and forget personal vendetta you would have done a great service to the nation. We still have hope, perhaps more than what we are entitled to, but hope nonetheless. We still continue to have a dream of a proud and prosperous nation. LET IT NOT END.

Yours in Sport,

The ultimate goals of my life.

2006-07-23T10:18:00.000-07:00

Remember those hindi film scenes where after the hero has brought home a lovely bride his mother says "Beta, ab main chain se mar sakti hun". Ever thought about that feeling of when there is nothing more left to achieve in life. When you feel that you have done all that you were supposed to in life and more, you have lived the purpose of you life and existence. This is a very special feeling indeed and it emanates from the fact that we have achieved something for which we have given our life to, and whatever happens tomorrow it will not take away the feeling or the fact that we treaded those dizzying hights today. Different people have different goals in life that can propel them to those high clouds. In atheletics and sports it is said to the feeling when you are in a 'zone' where nothing can go wrong or when you have achieved the ultimate (think a grand slam, a world cup, tour de France etc. etc.). In politics it is the realisation of a life long dream (he highest office any nation has on offer). In different areas of human activiy we have different things e.g. for our old hindi film mother it was her son's/daughter's marriage. I have two such goals in life and if ever I achieve them I believe I will feel myself in the same stage of mental euphoria as the old hindi film mother. My greatest dream in life is to get an Indian passport that blue and gold document that will be an unfailing proof of my identity and existence. Something that can prove to anyone beyond a shadow of doubt that an entity called imran exists and is an Indian.But at the moment getting a passport appears for me to be a more distant dream than cultivating paddy on mars. For five years half my decisions in life have been taken with the idea of optimizing the probability of getting myself a passport. My applications have been rejected on all grounds as per law applicable and more. Still I dont see any distant hope of getting one. But it gives my life a pupose, my existence a meaning. Everyday I wake up with a thought that maybe this day will bring me closer to it. It has never happened but the very fact that one day it might drives my life, sustains it, completes it.

The other great ambition in my life is to get back from my college my caution money, a princely sum of 84 rupees and 50 paise. Every time I go home I visit my college with the express purpose of getting the application approved which needs some seven signatures of no-objection. On the last count I had managed four. I hope to get the remaining three before inflation increases the price of four samosas at Sharma Ji's (which is the treat I have promised my freinds in the unlikely event of getting my caution money back) to Rs.85 or more.

to the memories of IGIDR.........................

2006-05-13T11:17:00.000-07:00

Today I dont know how to feel. Two years is a long time for any one but for me the last two have been worth a lifetime. I have felt an entire gamut of emotions in this place but the one that was more common was one of unbelonging and by the time I got over it, it was already the fourth sem. Today I realise that I might have actually enjoyed this place more had I given more time towards understanding it. But regardless it was a wonderful experience with some of the most amazing people that I have met in life. I will miss the one thing that defined IGIDR for me 'people'. Here are somelines that best sum up my feelings today.

मैं नहीं आया तुम्हारे द्वार

पथ ही मुड़ गया था।

गि त ि मिल मैं चल पड़ा

पथ पर कहीं रुकना मना था,

राह अनदेखी, अजाना देश

संगी अनसुना था।

चाँद सूरज की तरह चलता

न जाना रातिदन है,

िकस तरह हम तुम गए िमल

आज भी कहना किठन है,

तन न आया माँगने अिभसार

मन ही जुड़ गया था।

देख मेरे पंख चल, गितमय

लता भी लहलहाई

पत्र आँचल में िछपाए मुख

कली भी मुस्कुराई।

एक क्षण को थम गए डैने

समझ िवश्राम का पल

पर प्रबल संघर्ष बनकर

आ गई आँधी सदलबल।

डाल झूमी, पर न टूटी

िंकतु पंछी उड़ गया था।

Shiv Mangal Singh 'Suman'

कहाँ गया वह स्वर्िगक साकी, कहाँ गयी सुरिभत हाला,
कहँा गया स्वपिनल मिदरालय, कहाँ गया स्वरि्णम प्याला!
पीनेवालों ने मिदरा का मूल्य, हाय, कब पहचाना?
फूट चुका जब मधु का प्याला, टूट चुकी जब मधुशाला।।
Harivansh Rai Bachan

Ek kahani aur mili.

2006-03-29T12:05:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time there was a philosopher who lived in a village. The village was a farming oriented one and was haunted by parakeets. To counter the menace of the parakeets the farmers used to set up narkul (small thin sticks) traps on the periphery of their farms. These traps consisted of narkuls set up loosely along a rope. As soon as the birds would sit on these narkuls they would slip through the rope and the falling birds in their fright would clutch on to the rope with all that they had until the farmers came and caught them to sell them into captivity. The plight of these poor birds hanging upside down from the farmer’s narkuls deeply disturbed our philosopher. Determined to do something about it he bought all the birds that the farmers caught over a period of time and taught them the following lesson "hum pardar janwar hain, hum shikari ke narkul par kabhi nahin baithenge aur agar baithe to phad-phada ke ud jayenge ( we are winged animals we will never sit on the farmers narkul and even if we do we will simply fly away)". When he was sure that the birds had learnt their lesson well he freed them.
One of the following days as the philosopher was taking a stroll along the farms he came across the familiar sight of parrots hanging upside down on the ropes except the fact that this time some of them were crying at the top of their lungs "hum pardar janwar hain, hum shikari ke narkul par kabhi nahin baithenge aur agar baithe to phad-phada ke ud jayenge". The next day people found the philosopher too hanging from a rope like the birds except the fact that he unlike the birds was not hanging upside down.
I had read this story just when I had started my formal education. As I progressed in life I have come to realise that this story closely mirrors a lot that is wrong with our education system. In the corridors of education I am sure you also at some points of your career would have come across similar parrot cries.

(Based on the story FALSAFI AUR PARINDEY in Hamari Zuban II a textbook for urdu students of standard seventh in UP board. Inspired by the recent Gaurav-Padma dialouge on Gaurav's blog.)

You know you are using too much of computers when

2006-03-07T12:40:00.000-08:00

1.You start loking for ctrl key on your notepad everytime you have to repeat something while writing.
2.You wonder why there is no ctrl-f in life when things go missing.
3.You work on computers and then spend more time on them bloggin or orkutting for relaxation.
4.You have to think hard about when you last used a pen outside a classroom.
5.Your handwriting goes from terribly bad to wonderfully ineligible.
6.MS-word makes yo blissfully ignarent off esplings.
7.You spend 90% of your waking time in front of a computer.
8.Your waist size increases from 32 to 34 for no apparent reason.
9.One of the more serious concerns in your life is that no one is commenting on you blog.

So F9 came close to extinction today.

2006-02-26T14:03:00.000-08:00

It had to happen. F9 was a disaster waiting to happen. I mean what other fate can await a flat with three handpicked chutiyas from three extreme corners of India, (extreme north, extreme east and extreme west) each of which graduated from a class of seven to be a part of F9 . The best of the very best, the creme de la creme of the world of chutiyagiri. Each one of us we beleieves in improvements. We keep trying to achieve new heights. Even if we are the kings of this field we try to raise the bar still higher. So that the future generations of wannabe chutiyas would start wobbling in their shoes by just contemplating the heights that we have achieved. By our deeds we often surprise others into wondering about our origins and orientations. But there are a few sublime moments when everything gels so well that we manage to surprise ourselves. Today was one such night. We have achieved the zenith and we have nothing else to say further. Let the world say what it wants we dont give a damn. It takes an entire lifetime to be a part of F9 and we have achieved that.

This post would be incomplete without a mention of our sincere thanks to god who not entirely without reason decided that we still have something meaningful left to achieve and therefore can go on living for somemore time. We will try and vindicate that faith that god has blessed us with by acieving new heights in this field. Amen.

P.S. Those who are intrested in knowing tonight's story kindly wait or contact personally.

of sports, saurav ganguly, etc.

2006-02-24T14:05:00.000-08:00

From the onset of civilization man has seldom been content with just being a man. He has always yearned to become a superhuman. In his thoughts he has serenely dreamt of achieving a higher plane of life and these thoughts have been showcased in their purest form in sports. Great sportsmen in their moments of triumph have made humanity believe that things for which man isn’t made for can be achieved with diligence and discipline. Sports are more than just a stage to showcase skills and gifted ballplayers epitomise this virtue. Sports for ages have given man a mirror to reflect his emotions. The spirit of sports has insured that the spirit of life flowed even in most troubled times. Maybe today this pure spirit has tarnished when we look at doping controversies match fixing affair etc. but these are minor blots on golden pages which disappear when we look back at those high noons of the Bjorn Borg, John McEnroe era at Wimbledon, Ali's wonderful feats or the Purity and single mindedness of purpose that was epitomised in the performance of champions like Steffi Graf, Carl Lewis, Ayrton Senna, Vivian Richards etc. on a stage which reflects humanity in all its glorious details. Time and again we see sport fields turning into a Shakespearean theater with players acting a whole gamut of emotions. There is the ecstasy of triumph and the agony of defeat but the more prevailing emotion is the mundane one, the spirit of struggle and survival.
Once again we are enthralled by a great athlete’s struggle against time to vindicate his belief that he still has it in him to wear the war paints one last time, to scorch the turf for that one last hurrah, that one final walk of triumph. You can't miss the hint of irony in the Saurav Ganguly episode. Not only the most successful person to have led the Indian team but also one of the most wonderful ballplayers of his generation. Today his wonderful skills are engaged in a more mundane pursuit, a puny struggle to survive. Players who are in the team solely because he was willing to give them a longer rope are fighting for his place in the team and supposedly his bete noir in the team is a coach who again is there because he had backed him. Does he deserve a more honourable exit is a question that is on everyone’s mind. I believe that even if he is a spent force, still purely on virtue of wearing the national colours with pride and honour and being a visionary far ahead of his times, deserved a more civilized treatment.
I remember a poignant moment from the Sydney Olympics. In men’s field hockey semifinals where Australia was playing the Netherlands, at a crucial juncture of the game Brent Livermore (aus.) missed a penalty stroke. Australia lost that match perhaps because of that blunder but when the teams were announced for the next match for bronze medal play offs the Sydney crowd had reserved its loudest cheers for Brent. That incident somehow had moved me to tears then because it reminded me of our society’s ineptness. Today when I watch the Ganguly drama unfold I feel my tears were justified.

we have declared war

2006-02-23T11:03:00.000-08:00

Its a war, against bird flu at F9. We have decided to show the providence that 'this is F9 and we are not afraid'. Obviously we believe in actions not in words, so have been gorging ourselves on non veg fare everyday since. Sathiyon hathiyar utha lo hum akhiri prawn tak ladenge.

To My Alma Mater.............

2006-02-07T12:36:00.000-08:00

Like all good things in life my experience at this place(IGIDR) is drawing to a close. I try to calculate what exactly I am taking away from this place and the two years of my life that I have devoted to the study of economics. A job with a decent package is an obvious answer, some rudimentary knowledge of some econometric tools is another but then, isn't that all? I mean if I today compare the time I have spent here with the time I had spent in that smallest of places(My Alma Mater) in some strange backwater of India with barest minimum of facilities I feel that the knowledge that I had gained there was far more comprehensive than whatever I have learnt here. For these reasons and more this blog is a salutation to that institution.
I feel it is always people who make up a place what it is, not computer facilities or the number of online journals and nowhere is this difference as starkly visible as when I compare these two places from the extremes of Indian academic spectrum. That place comprised of people who reminded me of my country, hardworking, modest, middle class and striving for a better life. Where people were not judged by their CGPA or the last salary drawn, and where old school virtues of intellect still reigned supreme. I can go on and on highlighting these differences but I would like to rest my case with a couple of examples.
Scene 1:
A terribly 'confused student' approaches a 'very senior' teacher first day in college with the common career choice query "Sir, what can I look forward to after passing out of here?" The old man replies "Son, you put a decent effort for three years with us I can assure you that at the end of it you will be asking, If there is any thing that you can't do."
Scene 2:
The same 'confused student' approaches some teachers sitting in Maths department with a real analysis problem. He gets the solution to his problem but the teachers start on a Pure vs. Applied maths debate. The 'very senior' teacher concludes it with "You all are Idiots when you create two separate images of the subject for the students. There is no such thing as 'pure mathematics' there is only mathematics whose applications are waiting to be discovered."
For some reason whatever I learnt there seems to have gelled in my mind and I am not just talking about classroom learning or academic discussions only. (Imagine a place where four 'guys' can actually talk about India's current political situation without bringing any part of human anatomy into it!) My failure to express similar sentiments about this place will rankle me throughout my life because I will always feel that someone else could have been here in my place and he could have had a more satisfying experience............................................

An epitaph for myself.

2006-01-29T08:59:00.000-08:00

Here is an apt summary of my life.
" ......born too late and too mediocre. Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some have mediocrity thrust upon them. With him it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distiction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was."

A loose kite.........................

2006-01-07T10:38:00.000-08:00

Well life sometimes holds mirrors for you which you cant look away from. Sometimes I ask myself (or am asked) where I see myself 5yrs, 10yrs... down the line and then I realise that I have never known where I would end up next day. Like a kite gamboling with the wind I have floated here and there aimlessly. I dont know what future has for me where will I end up and I dont have the courage to look back into the past or look up to the future for answers. I can only see the present and that to I cant understand I see myself standing somewhere and dont know where it is? OR What I am doing here? OR How I have ended up here? Perhaps I can find solace in words like always..........................................
We exist first in a world without change
where everything has happened already
We exist forever
in little moments of now
as statues
not knowing we are so permanently real.

random thoughts

2005-11-12T10:35:00.000-08:00

We always have a dream, don't we, to be able to move to a higher plane of life, to be able to percieve things differently, to rise above an ordinary life and etch out a name for ourselves.
But isn't it that in moving to a different plane of life we miss out the fun of a simpleton life. In seeing things differently we stop appereciating them for what they are and in our quest for name and fame we rise so high above the ordinary life that we fail to connect with reality?

dedications

2005-09-27T04:35:00.000-07:00

this blog is dedicated to......................

those millions of people who will never get to know what a blog (or for that matter internet ) is
all my freinds from KDC and IGIDR who made me beleive that life is something to be enjoyed
schazeb for motivating me to start writing
and above all to MYSELF..................